Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Non Coherent Papal Musings

Wednesday morning was surreal with the announcment of a new Pope. CNN Screamed out with "GERMANY'S RATZINGER IS 265TH POPE" in 30 point, a font size normally reserved for Terror Alerts or Britney Pregnancies. The annoying CBC morning program was interupted by a 20 second announcement by Michael Enright. They cut into the show with one of those high alert ding a bling a ling musical alert things. Michael Enright was almost fired from the CBC a few years ago when after he did an interview with the Globe & Mail and said the Catholic Church was the largest criminal organization in the world. He was forced to apologize and kiss the ring. So it surprised me that they hauled him out of bed to make the announcement, even if it was only for 15 seconds. Not long after that they went it to full tilt Ratzingerpalooza. The Bishop of Calgary rushed to his media outlet of choice to endorse the new Pope. I guess the Chief Inquisitor's job is open now. Let the gay bashing resume.

I'm briefly watching a bit on TV. There are a large group of Nuns in the Plaza outside the Vatican jumping up and down like they just saw the Beatles, or as my friend who is an Evil Bastard puts it, its like they just spent an hour riding their bicycles on cobbelstone roads. After what we saw last week with the 8 day funeral, maybe this should not surprise us. Is religious hysteria bipolar? A Dark night of the soul followed by a feast day?

I suppose you could take exception to the claim of being the 265th Pontiff. I believe they made every effort to correct the counting error introduced by two different Schisms in the middle ages, which is why there are two John XXIIIs. And in at least one of those schisms there was a Benedict which makes it even more complicated. Maybe he's really Bendict XV and just won't admit it.

I'm unsure about the Hitler Youth thing. The Israeli foreign minister is already baiting him on the Catholic-Jewish anti-semitism issue. As a Catholic Priest in the Nazi era surely he must recognize or know about the issue of Catholic complicity in the Holocaust. At least, he must know about the allegations against Pius XII, sometimes referred to as Hitlers' Pope. What does he think of all that? Its an issue not likely to go away anytime soon.

What does a Pope have to do to get fired? Talk about annexing Poland? Kill an Ambassador to the Vatican? And why do countries send Ambassadors to the Vatican. In Canada's case it was so the Pope could lecture the Canadian Ambassador on the evils of Gay Marriage. Should we be sending an Ambassador to the Moonies? I'm sorry, I'm confused.

Do they send out letters to the losing candidates?

Dear cardinal x,

We write to inform you regarding your application to be the next Pope. Unfortunately the position has been filled. Although your credentials were impressive the selection committee decided to go with someone who had a unique set of skills to match the needs of our client. We will keep your resume on file for future reference. Thank you for your interest.

Regards,
S. Spinoza, S.J.,
Vatican Human Resources

Whether its fair or not people judge you buy the words you use. Please try to drop a few of the following words in conversation:

papeolology
repapalization
depapalization
popelessness
neopapalschismism
papalicide
popemongering
papalissimo
papalicious
papalelleogram
poporexia


If enough of you put in the effort we can get these words in the next OED.

And before I forget, A cartoon from Mike Williams, a favourite.


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