Oilers Trade Extra Goaltender For Goaltender

The Edmonton Oilers have traded goaltender Mathieu Garon to the Pittsburgh Penguins for centre Ryan Stone, goaltender Dany Sabourin , a fourth round pick in 2011, a strip mall in Bassano , 19 Facebook friends, a llama, some class B Nortel Shares, half a bottle of Sambuca, 10 tickets to an yet to be announced Toby Keith concert and a red turtleneck.

I haven't figured out what the goaltender depth chart will look like now, I suspect they'll make the two not-Dwaynes fight it out for #2. Ryan Stone was born in Calgary, drafted in 2003 and has played 8 NHL games with 1 point. The fourth round pick is a faceless hard nosed cipher who will change the game of hockey forever.

MacTavish just held a press conference and said the trade was unlikely to affect the current line up. Oilers fans better hope Roloson stays healthy and competitive. Please recommend this post

Suspicious Amount of Angst over a "Dead" Coalition

Gratuitous use of quotation marks. Everyone's doing it.

My friend drove me to a coffee shop near my house this morning. It was just long enough to be forced to listen to Rutherford encourage and affirm phone-in lying. I thought about opening the door and bailing out into a snowbank but everything is melting here.

I'll paraphrase:

Dave: Go ahead Corky your on dumbass radio.
Corky: Yeah, Dave I went to school and what not and know a lot about government type things and what not. And I know that the Governor General can't hand over power to separatists. She's literally not allowed to.
Dave: You're right you're right. The Bloc have avowed to cut the country in half. You're so right.
Corky: I am that.

For brevity, I left out the caller's preamble about how Stephen Harper is the best Prime Minister Canada ever or will ever have.

Even a Junior High student could list off the fallacies and the lies in this all too common type of exchange.

This is getting so repetitive, but once more:

• The Bloc Quebecois is not part of the coalition. Never were never will be. They agreed not to vote non-confidence for some period of time that's it. Why can't these people follow a simple news story and get the basic facts?
  
• The Governor General can ask the opposition to form a Government and has done so in the past. Period. There is no litmus test of what the opposition parties have to believe in.
• The Bloc Quebecois is not in any position to advance the Separation of Quebec, or anything really. I call bogey-man. Referendums occur on the Provincial level. The Provincial Parti Quebecois is currently out of office. Separation, right now seems kind of low on the priority list of Quebecois.
• Dave and his friends don't care about Quebec separation one bit. They would be more concerned if their cats had anal gland problems. They only care about Stephen Harper implementing an agenda favored by only 40 some percent.
  

Fighting bullshit is hard work and mostly thankless. I'd like to thank all the progressive and liberal bloggers who spoke up on the coalition issues with far more eloquence than I have.

(Update: and thanks to blogger for stripping out my bullet points.) Please recommend this post

Blatchford: Harassment Not a Problem

The headline should have warned me away: Watchdogs of sexual harassment as eager to bite as they ever were. Ted Byfield called and wants his animus back. It out Wentes Wente, pray you avoid it. (Obscure Shakespeare reference.)

Only Blatchford could start a column with:

Perhaps Mr. Brazeau will be shown to be a sexist pig, as well as the regular sort. And there's no question that, given the sexual abuse chronic in some native communities, it is a complaint to which aboriginal organizations should be particularly sensitive.

And finish with:

But sexual harassment, particularly when it involves merely words, jokes or injured feelings, is much less worthy of our attention.

Well, unworthy of Blatchford's attention maybe. Those of who own or run businesses and organizations know that sexual harassment has an additional often unconsidered layer that is primarily economic. If you don't have a sexual harassment policy that employees and contractors explicitly assent to then you are asking for trouble. Even without lawsuits when an organization is infected with lax attitudes to harassment, even of a minor nature, they become dysfunctional and horrible places to work. This usually means a loss of income or respect. They become places good people flee and losers thrive. If you are sued because of harassment incidents you may find yourself shutting down your business and putting everyone out of work.

Harassment does matter. There is no minor harassment in the work place. Blatchford is wrong. Please recommend this post

Shiny Things in the Mail

The Monastery of St. Carmel sent me a Rosary in the mail today. I'm not Catholic and have no connection with any Catholic groups so I'm not quite sure how they know me or why they think I would want a Rosary. Nonetheless, its quite attractive no? In a case of cruel symbolism I received the Rosary along with my year end mutual fund statements. Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be.

Lets take the Rosary for a test drive. Pray with me.

Bead 1: Lord, help certain people to stop being an overbearing pigs. You know who I mean. We've discussed this before.

Bead 2: Lord, help the women of the world get the birth control they need, when they need it. Help your church to change its obstructionist ways.

Bead 3: What about McVety? Lord that man ain't right.

(I think this is working)

Bead 4: (Some private thoughts about lust)

Bead 5: Not to belabor the point Lord, but I really think we need to get birth control out to the third world.

Bead 6: So why can't women be Priests? Lord?

Bead 7: Can I have a new Mustang.

Bead 8: Lord, help your Church to end their gay bigotry. Its so not you.

This goes on for some time. Probably far longer than necessary. Please feel free to add your own prayers. Please recommend this post

Mac T Up In the Air

Last night (Monday) the Edmonton Oilers got on a plane for a three game road trip out east. Once the plane got airborne (is that a word?) Coach Craig MacTavish pretended he was the Prime Minister on an election tour and came to the back of the plane to talk with reporters. Near the toilet.

The Oilers are in deep trouble and rumors are swirling about all kinds of changes upcoming. It is known that Pat Quinn has talked with at least 3 NHL teams about a head coaching job. My pure speculation is these three teams are Ottawa, Pittsburgh and Edmonton. I have no idea if the Oilers would hire Quinn, but nothing would surprise.

Also before leaving for the trip the Oilers recalled their 3rd Goaltender Jeff Drouin-Deslauriers from the Junior team. This seemed rather odd to me to recall a goalie just for a 3 game road trip. Especially since the coach told reporters he likely won't be played. Conspiracy minded people will say the Oilers are working on a goalie trade while out east. Possibly. Lets throw that rumor around shall we?

Also the Oilers left behind Robert Nillson from the road trip for undisclosed reasons. Again, you conspiracy theorists need to work this one over. Later, Nilsson was added to the injury list with a mild concussion. Probably caused by repeatedly banging his head against expectations. In a post game several weeks ago MacTavish said he had seen enough and had enough of Nillson.

All the reporters in the scrum posed interesting questions, but MacTavish is very good at talking to the media and not answering questions. One of the pro-violence reporters from 630Ched wanted to know when Steve MacIntyre would be fighting next.

Unless something really changes, I doubt they'll make the playoffs. As a long time fan I hope they make some changes. Please recommend this post

Local Media Punked (Again)

Or the case of the fictitious yellow bellied yobs.

On 14 Jan 2008 Jason Brunelle was driving near Bassano Alberta. He claimed he stopped to help some people who appeared to be broken down, and then was severely beaten up. The Bassano RCMP investigated but there were no witnesses and no suspects. He claims he fought off his assailants then drove to his home (or a gas station) in Strathmore where he called the police. Brunelle was taken to hospital as he did indeed have injuries to his face and head. Brunelle then phoned his story in to QR77 and the Calgary Sun and they promptly wrote it up as fact. It remains unclear as to whether any journalists actually talked to him face to face. The Calgary Herald also wrote about the incident.

Yesterday a quiet news release came out from QR77 reporting that Brunelle has been charged with mischief and that the Bassano RCMP believe the story was fabricated. He will appear in court in February.

Brunelle, while describing his ordeal, also told the Calgary Sun that he had previously been hit by a truck and survived by holding onto the grill, fell off a roof and was saved by grabbing a power line, and once fell into a bonfire. In professional journalism and police work I think these stories would be referred to as "clues".

I don't entirely blame the media for writing up this story, however they didn't express even a shred of doubt about completely unsubstantiated claims. When I read the story as written by Michael Platt on 15 Jan 2008 (less than a full day after the incident) I actually felt sorry for him. He so desperately believed and wanted it to be true because it affirmed the world view of right wing tabloid journalism, that godly good Samaritans (us) are under constant siege from godless yellow bellied scum (them).

Too bad Platt ran out of real estate in his column. He could have thrown in some bits about Jamaican gang members and the immigration system and it would have rounded it out really well.

And its a good thing that Brunelle's injuries didn't require a blood transfusion otherwise Michael Plett would have had to demand the return of the blood. Please recommend this post

Pat Condell: Atheist, BC Lions Fan

I was just watching Pat Condell's latest rant about atheism and faith. A little into the video I noticed he was wearing a BC Lions T-Shirt. Don't tell Wally. Anyway, its worth watching.

Please recommend this post

Weird Dream

I haven't been sleeping very well for some time. I took a break last night from feeling horrible about the inhumanity in Gaza and my own strange circumstances, and promptly fell asleep then had a weird dream.

A well known Canadian singer/songwriter came to my house to sing for me. She sang a few of her songs but not the one in particular I wanted to hear. I then proceeded to chase her around trying to get her pants off. Farcical consensual frolicking. It was like those dreams where you run and run and run and never go anywhere.

No, it wasn't Ann Murray.

But like all my dream sex I ended up frustrated as the well known singer/songwriter changed to Al Franken in the blink of an eye. Feel free to NOT comment on the deep meaning of that. Franken started going on and on about how Republicans always cheat in elections and that all he wanted to do was make sure all the votes were counted yada yada yada. I told him to STFU.

Then I was in someones driveway wearing not much in the blistering cold wondering if I should go knock on their door.

Top that.

I'd like to take some time to think about this, but right now I'm running late, and feeling a bit week in the knees.

By the way, Franken is ahead in the Minnesota Senate recount. With the count all but complete the only thing remaining to deal with is the lawsuits from the losers. One wonders how a professional comedian will fare among a group of amateur comedians. Please recommend this post

A Midwinter's Hodge-Podge

Its a cold barren wasteland here:



Cold. Blowy. Bitter. And cold. I never want to spend another winter in Alberta as long as I live. Seriously.










The dog was good company on Christmas Eve. Farting, burping, growling, and taking peoples shoes [corrected from shows] God knows where.





And the Christmas Tree that wouldn't stand still so I could take its picture.





And all Santa brought me was a big pile of year end paper work. Taxes. Budgets. Death by a thousand paper cuts. Riveting stuff. This is why they invented January. Doldrums ne plus ultra.

Brother can you spare me a dime?

Please recommend this post

Extending an Imperfect Palestinian Analogy

Did I spell analogy correct? Good.

Analogies are good for abstracting a complicated problem. A good analogy has just the right amount of detail. A bad analogy leaves out or hides important details.

While in Edmonton I caught a weird bit of talk radio about the violence in Gaza. The idea of talk radio being a relevant way to discuss complicated issues is a whole separate topic. Suffice it to say this medium does not support critical thinking, or even compassion apparently.

A caller phoned in and got his 15 seconds of fame to say that if Airdrie were firing missiles into the suburbs of North West Calgary, Calgary would most certainly be morally obligated to fight back. If you're unfamiliar with Calgary, Airdrie is a little bedroom community just north of Calgary, with a population of around 34,000.

As usual I was left going but but but but ..... This is a perfect example of a simple minded analogy that leaves you feeling empty.

We can add some details to this analogy to make it more useful.

1. This little town of Airdrie is completely surrounded by the City of Calgary.

2. Airdrie has an unemployment rate of over 80%. The unemployed used to have jobs in Calgary but they cannot go there anymore because of the road blocks on the only highway.

3. Airdrie has little food, broken down sanitation systems, and no utilities that work. Occasionally, they hear that the United Nations is concerned.

4. The City of Calgary gets military hardware and an unlimited supply of cash from the United States. Nothing Calgary does to Airdrie seems to really bother the United States.

5. Airdrie elects a town council but no one recognizes its authority and dismisses calls them as terrorists. The town council cant function anyway, because they are internally deeply divided.

6. Everyone elsewhere in Canada automically assumes the City of Calgary is doing the right thing because they are the only democratic city in the region.

7. Christian preachers refer to Calgary and Airdrie as the Holy Land and engage in gratuitous anti-Airdrie rhetoric.

8. The Canadian media will only play one news clip about Airdrie over and over again, and that's the one where the half crazed lunatic is yelling Death to Calgary!

I could go on, but you get the point. Analogies are only useful if they help explain something. Please recommend this post

2009 - Leonard Cohen Calls It

Please recommend this post

Japanese Discover Secret of Virginity

Japanese researchers, commissioned by the Japanese Government have just released a study drawing a connection between the eating of breakfast and prolonging virginity.

Really, do tell...

There are many theories on the links between food and sex, but Japanese researchers have came up[sic] with a new finding - young people who skip breakfast tend to lose their virginity earlier.

In a study of 3000 people, those who did not regularly eat breakfast when in their early teens said they lost their virginity at an average age of 17.5, versus an overall average age of 19 for all Japanese.

For those who had a morning meal when they were younger, the average age of having the first sexual experience was 19.4.

The study, backed by Japan's health ministry, was aimed at finding ways to curb unwanted pregnancies. It concluded that a stable home life discouraged early sex.

Due to an unfortunate translation problem, the English version of the study was inappropriately titled Hey, those sluts look hungry, but was quickly recalled.

A Mr. Kitamura, the head of the Japan Family Planning Association goes on to say:

Those unhappy with their parents - such as for not preparing breakfast - may tend to find a way to release their frustration by having sex...

Yeah, that was my first thought this morning when I woke up to no breakfast. I think I'll just go out and have sex. Then I remembered how cold it was.

Like all of us Japan wants to reduce teenage pregnancies and disease. Also they have one of the lowest birth rates in the world. The low birth rate is a problem for a country that has a bit of a thing about racial purity and nationalism. I imagine they have more than a few Pat Buchanans/Mark Steyns over there shrieking about the future demographics.

While I wonder about how they arrived at this correlation between breakfast and chastity, and whether the study is even remotely scientific, I'm not going to argue about it. If it works it works.

It only seems common sense that you should cook breakfast for your kids. Please recommend this post

A Lump of Coal Ash For You

I was reading PZ Myers blog post on coal ash. Coal ash is the toxic sludge that is leftover after coal is burned. In Tennessee a retaining wall collapsed and 500 million gallons of coal ash were dumped into the state's water table. Since coal ash contains concentrations of heavy metals and other toxic substances you would think this would be recognized by the media as a huge environmental disaster. However the coverage has been very light to say the least.

This got me thinking about how we deal with coal ash in Alberta. Over 95% of our electricity is coal fire generated. Mostly this comes from the two large generators at Lake Wabamum. The first plant built in the 1950's pretty much ruined the ecology of the lake. A CN derailment a few summers ago didn't help by dumping millions of gallons of bunker oil in the lake.

So where does the ash from these plants go? Most of the coal in Alberta is strip mined, so it is likely the ash goes back in an excavation where the coal came from. I did find one document on Alberta Environment's website which did not exactly fill me with confidence.

Some excerpts:

Coal ash contains certain elements (B, Se, As) in concentrations that may create toxic conditions when entering the food chain via plant uptake or by leaching into the ground and surface waters. Therefore, it is critical to define and characterize coal ash to ensure proper use and disposal procedures.

and..

Update: B,Se and As in the above quotation refer to Boron, Selenium and Arsenic.

The Alberta User Guide for Waste Managers states that “fly ash waste, bottom ash waste, slag waste or flue gas emission control waste generated from the combustion of domestic waste, coal, wood, or other fossil fuels” are not considered hazardous wastes..

Emphasis mine. And...

Current management options for coal ash include: disposal in mined out areas, surface impoundments, off-site landfills, co-disposal with sour wastes, soil conditioner for pH adjustment, and re-use.

The document goes on with the usual assurances that there shouldn't be any problems. I wrote some time ago about how a moth-balled gas plant in Turner Valley was leaking toxic hydrocarbons in the Sheep River water basin and no one was acknowledging the problem or trying to fix it. Then there's the ongoing allegation of cancer rates in the Athabasca River communities. The response was to deny and fire a health official.

Do you see a pattern here? A province that actually has poor environmental practices goes to great lengths to deny the problem and harass whistle blowers.

Unfortunately there's not much the rest of us can do about it because the Government has the unwavering support of Alberta's media outlets. Vote Tory, be happy. Please recommend this post

The Thais are Funny

Please recommend this post

David Hockney Gives Me Pleasure

I came across this great book of David Hockney's paintings and photographs, with great reproduction quality and just the right amount of commentary. Hockey is a UK born artist who is a painter first, but also is good at photography. He also designs sets for Opera and stage.

My favourite Hockney painting is called Garrowby Hill (image above left). The colors and the vantage point are just too much. The painting is based on the countryside around Yorkshire but it reminds me a lot of the scenery in Alberta. I've always wanted this painting.

I also want the book. I'm not much into coffee table books but this I would make an exception for. It would also make a good bathroom book. Not that putting a book in a bathroom is in any way an insult. Its a luxury that you can look at a book and take your time, possible while in the midst of a difficult passing.

Hey, what are you doing in there hurry up!
Nothing. I'll be out in a second.
Don't touch my art books!


Or even as a bedside book...

Honey, you never make love to me anymore.
Huh?
You just flip through that Hackney book every night.
Hockney.


Title: David Hockney
Authors: Paul Melia and Ulrich Luckhardt
ISBN: 3-7913-2413-6
Dewey: 759.2 HOC Please recommend this post

Whose Nativity Scene is it?

The nativity scene at a church near my house. Charming, though a little kitschy. You can't see it well in the picture, but there is a little Angel hoisted above the manger with a piece of rebar. Because I'm a neurotic stickler for details I thought something was not quite right. For some reason I didn't think there was an angel at the nativity scene, at least not as its told in the bible stories.

Quick refresher. Of the four Gospels only Matthew and Luke have stories about the birth of Jesus. Mark and John start their gospels with Jesus already an adult. Matthew tells the story of the three wise men, but Luke leaves them out completely. Luke tells the story of the shepherds in the fields woken up by angels in the sky. Matthew leaves the shepherds out.

And yes, I was right. Neither story says there were Angels at the manger.

Its a minor detail and a forgivable one in the name of artistic license. The reason it bothers me is that every year at this time we have horrible arguments about who owns Christmas and what it really means. I think that if you're going to be like Bill O'Reilly or the Catholic League and bully people into believing that your version of Christmas is the correct one, to be forced upon the rest of us, then you should at least get the details correct from your own source.

Make of the holidays and the various traditions what you will. Its yours to imagine. Or to ignore. If you want zebras and helicopters in your nativity scene go for it. If you want gay shepherds or a black Virgin Mary go for it. It is your spiritual path, your story, and your symbols. Please recommend this post

Saturday Night Links

Some of my favourites from the last couple of days.

1. Sara Posner at the Nation and Christopher Hitchens at Slate Magazine both deconstruct Rick Warren. What they find under the rock is not pretty. They're both good articles but one is more nuclear. Can you guess which one?

2. Vanity Fair's special on Tina Fey. With pictures. Awkward throat clearing. Grabbing collar.

3. A woman repeatedly fainted from eating sandwiches and pop. Luckily science figures it out without going all Freudian.

4. Steven Fletcher, Minister of Promoting Ignorance threatens to abolish the Senate. Do you think its unusual that a man responsible for democratic reform doesn't even know a sitting Government can't just unilaterally abolish the senate? Do you think he should know that?

5. Preston Manning's shallow attempt to offer advice on fixing the current Parliament. Abstract: Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. Vote Conservative have a nice day. Elder Statesman...not so much.

6. A CBC news story about the California Attorney General recommending that the California Supreme Court overturn proposition 8 on the basis that it is unconstitutional.

7. PZ Myers has a good post, If Programming Languages Were Religions Also known as flame baiting.

8. And oh yeah, apparently the Belgian government has collapsed and the country may separate. Now my personal assistant Nannette will be wanting time off. Please recommend this post

Another poll needing bias

630ched.com has another painfully obvious poll question on their front page:

With Alberta facing a deficit, should the Premier and MLAs roll back the huge wage increases they gave themselves this year?

Hell yes, and then some. It only seems right with the Prime Minister and the Alberta Health Minister bitching about people expecting "entitlements". And while they're at it maybe they could scale back on some of those make work keep-the-back-benchers-looking-busy committees, such as the ineptly named Alberta-Idaho border committee.

Its running just over 90% yes right now, but I think that should be much higher.

For further reading, some advice from the Alberta Liberal Party. Please recommend this post

Is that an Advisory Panel in your pants...or

Wow, that's some panel that Mr. Flaherty appointed to advise him on the economy.

The panel consists entirely of CEO's:

Jim Patterson, Paul Desmarais Jr, Geoff Beattie, James Irving, George Gosbee, Isabelle Hudon, Mike Lazaridis, Jack Mintz, Ajit Someshwar, Annette Verschuren, and Carole Taylor.

I would more than glad to have any one of these people as a business mentor, they represent a lot of business success. However as a panel advising on economic matters I think they are far from balanced and not entirely qualified to advise on Government budgets during difficult times. I have a feeling it will be all happy happy as Flaherty hears mostly what he wants to hear.

It looks to me like Jim is trying to isolate and innoculate himself from the average Canadian. He has no interest in the views of labor groups, academics, the unemployed or the non-profit sector, to name a few.

I had this idea. Sequester them away in a little potemkin village for 6 months. Give them each the equivalent of the average Canadian's salary and debt. Let them see if they can make it 6 months. Survival CEO.

If they come out ok then let them offer economic advice.

In the meantime lets all sing along with Shatner.

In that case I'll have a Rum and Coca Cola...

Please recommend this post

Calgary's Latest Grievance

I've heard this twice on the radio, saw it once in a newspaper, and overheard it once at a coffee shop:

Michael Ignatieff cannot call himself Iggy because there is only one Iggy, Calgary Flames caption Jerome Iginla.

For those of you who think this is a worth while debate, rather than trivial anti-liberal snottiness I only have two words for you:

Iggy Pop. He was Iggy before Iggy or Iggy was Iggy.

If you're a fan of all three of these men, maybe we'll make a run of t-shirts with a picture of all three. Caption: May The Holy Trinity Of Iggy Bless You.

Its not every day you can get sued by the NHL Players association, a punk rock label and the Liberal Party of Canada. Please recommend this post