Hamster Alert

OTTAWA (CBC) - Some hamster owners in British Columbia, the Prairies and northwestern Ontario are being asked to contact their doctors. The Public Health Agency of Canada is worried because some animals from a pet distributor in Manitoba have tested positive for Type B tularemia, a bacterial infection that can be transmitted to humans from rodents.

Thats what its come to then. While other Western nations struggle with the complex issues of Terrorism and War, the Canadian Government is issuing Hamster Alerts.

By the way, just how would the Government know you are a hamster owner? Be very afraid of this. Sure, they start out saying they just want a Hamster registry for "public health" reasons, but sooner or later, as history shows, the Government will come to take your sick Hamster away.

Democracy and Freedom can only be protected by well informed Citizens who know their rights. If the cops come to your door to hassle you for know reason I think they should be just a little afraid that you might have a sick Hamster. Only then will they think twice about being jack-booted thugs.

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Dear Sirs,
I am greatly honored at being awarded the Nobel Prize. Unfortunately, I cannot travel to Oslo at this time as we have a sick Hamster in our home. With Hamster ownership rights currently under seige, we do not feel this is a safe time for us to travel. I had planned on sending my sister in my place, but her face is all swollen with what we at first thought was tularemia, but it turned out, get this...

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