Friday, June 25, 2004

How I'm Voting

Its hard to say who I'm voting for. This decision will be made by my Inner Angus, and he ain't talking about his feelings. I won't know until I get there and get that cheesy little Elections Canada pencil in my hand. I just hope Angus does not start shouting slogans like he did last time. Angus may be available for a brief time on Monday to explain himself. Please recommend this post

American Advice

With only a few days left until our big election, both Michael Moore and Ralph Nader have urged Canadians not to vote for Stephen Harper. God bless them.

But not to be undone, President Bush has weighed in with his own advice for the Canadian voter:

I urge Canadians to support President Poutine in this comin' election. I've valued my uh...warm...friendship with President Poutine over the last four years.

Thanks guys. Please recommend this post

Oh...that's what those things are

A useful explanation for a vexing question supplied by the folks over at

A billboard is a large outdoor signboard, usually wooden, found in places with high traffic such as cities, roads, motorways and highways. Billboards show large advertisements to pedestrians and drivers traveling from one place to another. The vast majority of billboards are rented to advertisers rather than owned by them. Shown with large, witty slogans splashed with distinctive color pictures, billboards line the highways and are placed on the sides of buildings, peddling products and getting out messages. Billboard advertisements are designed to catch a person's attention and create a memorable impression very quickly, leaving the reader thinking about the advertisement after they have driven past it. Thus there are usually few large words, and a humorous or arresting image in brilliant color.

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Tuesday, June 22, 2004

I told you this would happen

DALLAS, Texas (AP) -- A gorilla that was shot to death by police after breaking out of its enclosure at the Dallas Zoo in March escaped by leaping over a 12-foot-wide trench and a wall that separates animals from visitors, officials said Tuesday. Zoo investigators believe the gorilla probably got a running start and sailed over the trench and the wall, clearing an electrical wire atop the wall that is supposed to give a mild shock.

As if we don't have enough problems on this planet, now we got Gorillas leaping over 12 foot walls. You try that with 400 pounds of hair and an ass full of bananas.
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Monday, June 21, 2004

Keys Locked in Car Again

Sylvan Lake(AP) A local child locked her parents car keys in the car for the 37th time in a row. Local officials believe this is a new record for the area, and a sense of fear now pervades this quiet little resort town. T.J. Mauresmo, Psychology professor at the University of Eckville, says that this behaviour could point to a much deeper cry for help. The Child could be saying, hey, I just don't want to drive around anymore. In spite of being mobbed by the media for over an hour, the parents remained in seclusion and refused to answer questions. Please recommend this post

Those were the days

Men were men and dames were dames. You cruised around in your double breasted suite and your argyle socks and everywhere the dames would just hang all over you like flies on...Some of us, like FoF are still manly enough to pull this off, but mostly not. Please recommend this post

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Dear Ralph #1

The Right Honorable Ralph Klein
Dear Sir
Just a note to let you know how much I appreciate your wisdom and leadership. A day never goes by when I don't think of how lucky we are to have you. Just the other day my niece said to me Uncle, how did you become such a fine and respectable person. Well, I told her that whenever I get in a troublesome situation and don't know what to do I just stop and ask myself "What would Ralph Do?". Like yesterday at Lunch. A co-worker wanted to borrow five bucks. I believe in helping others, just like you, so I threw a 20 on the floor and yelled at her to get a f* job. I think she learned a lot from that. Then I went back to the office and my boss wanted to ask me some questions about my expenses. At first I felt a little defensive but then I asked myself "What would Ralph do?". So I yelled at him Do you think I'm lying Do you think I'm lying Do you think I'm lying!Just like that - three times in a row. Then I stormed out of his office. I think I put him in his place and you know what, he won't be asking about expenses anymore. Anyway, I am grateful for all that I've learned from you.
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Future Blogs

All future blogs will be here. You can still read previous issues at Please recommend this post