I hate to say I told you so - and it pains me to say this, but I predicted at the beginning of the season that the Edmonton Eskimos would probably not make the playoffs this year. While they have a good team on paper I said the same thing about them that I say about most of my family members...there's just something not right over there...
They had moments of excellence this season but tanked in the last few weeks. Last weekend they were beaten by the Roughriders 55 to 9 in a bizarre game that set some kind of humiliation record. The Eskimos have not been beaten that badly since before the Mulroney era.
However, through the bizarre playoff format of the CFL the Eskimos will make the playoffs and all they had to do was plummet into last place in the Western division.
Through the cross-over rule the Edmonton Eskimos can claim third place in the Eastern Division because there are two teams over there that are actually worse than them. So Edmonton will play Winnipeg in the Eastern semi-final this weekend in Winnipeg.
If you're a hard-core Esks fan, here's your fantasy scenario. The Eskimos beat Winnipeg on the weekend, then beat Montreal in the Eastern final. (Stop laughing I'm not done yet). Then they will play the Grey Cup game against the Calgary Stampeders and will win by 1 point. The collective all at once eye rolling of several million Canadians will cause the Earth to shift on its axis and put an end to Global Warming.
Only in the CFL could the Edmonton Eskimos become the Eastern Division champions.
Later it will be revealed that the magic feel good story of the year was caused by an impassioned speech by the Edmonton Coach about a little boy who was dying of cancer and who's last wish was to see the Eskimos win the cup.
Later it will be revealed that the story was completely fabricated and the Eskimos will be stripped of their Grey Cup win. Through an unforeseen loophole in the CFL constitution the Cup will be awarded to Hamilton. Commonwealth Stadium will be accidentally demolished by a contractor with the wrong address and the league will declare bankruptcy. Pinball Clemons will become Prime Minister.
The remaining six teams will be saved at the last minute by being folded into the B Division of the Luxembourg Intermediate Potato Grower's League.
You see, if you believe that the Eskimos will get anywhere near the Grey Cup in 2008 you probably can be convinced of anything.
Please recommend this post
Showing posts with label Grey Cup. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grey Cup. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, September 10, 2007
Vicki's Banjo Bowl Fantasy
Vicki Hall of the Edmonton Journal has a dream:
Yeah, that would be something. Saskatchewan and Winnipeg in the Grey Cup playing in Toronto. They've never played each other in the Grey Cup[1] and both teams go back to the 1930's.
It would create a huge political problem for the CFL, the CBC and the organizers in Toronto. Think of the panic when they realize that no one east of Kenora will tune in or care. Cue the Nick Nolte film.
It is unusual to read this kind of prediction in the Edmonton Journal of all places, but Most Esk fans have known for some time that they won't be seeing their team in Canada's number one sporting event, or even in the playoffs.
Politics and ratings issues aside, I agree with Ms. Hall that this could be one of the best Grey Cup match games ever. Who would you rather watch? Calgary and Toronto? BC and Montreal? Pffft I say.
Bring on the Banjo Bowl non-pareil! And that's exactly what we're going to call it. BBNP for short.
Notes:
[1] The Grey Cup was named after Lord Grey, an Edwardian aristocrat whose wife couldn't get the hang of washing her delicate lingerie in the hard mineral laden waters of Upper Canada. Its a fact.
[2]In 1951,1966,1969 and 1976 the Ottawa Rough Riders played the Saskatchewan Roughriders in the Grey Cup. That would have been a hoot to watch the foreign visitors scratching their heads. Please recommend this post
Can you imagine the spectacle of thousands of prairie folk invading downtown Toronto for Grey Cup? Could there be anything better than for the CFL? If the Labour Day series is any indication, we could see the Roughriders and Blue Bombers in Hogtown for the big game.
Yeah, that would be something. Saskatchewan and Winnipeg in the Grey Cup playing in Toronto. They've never played each other in the Grey Cup[1] and both teams go back to the 1930's.
It would create a huge political problem for the CFL, the CBC and the organizers in Toronto. Think of the panic when they realize that no one east of Kenora will tune in or care. Cue the Nick Nolte film.
It is unusual to read this kind of prediction in the Edmonton Journal of all places, but Most Esk fans have known for some time that they won't be seeing their team in Canada's number one sporting event, or even in the playoffs.
Politics and ratings issues aside, I agree with Ms. Hall that this could be one of the best Grey Cup match games ever. Who would you rather watch? Calgary and Toronto? BC and Montreal? Pffft I say.
Bring on the Banjo Bowl non-pareil! And that's exactly what we're going to call it. BBNP for short.
Notes:
[1] The Grey Cup was named after Lord Grey, an Edwardian aristocrat whose wife couldn't get the hang of washing her delicate lingerie in the hard mineral laden waters of Upper Canada. Its a fact.
[2]In 1951,1966,1969 and 1976 the Ottawa Rough Riders played the Saskatchewan Roughriders in the Grey Cup. That would have been a hoot to watch the foreign visitors scratching their heads. Please recommend this post
Sunday, August 19, 2007
CBC Irritates Retard
Tonight at 12:30 am the CBC will be re-broadcasting the last 13 minutes of last nights thrilling football game between the Edmonton Eskimos and the Regina Rough Riders. There was a huge thunderstorm around the third quarter and the game was suspended for about an hour.
The CBC broke off coverage of the game so they could stay on schedule and show their Saturday Night Late Movie. So, to the CBC we present our first annual Dave Hodge Pencil Tosser Award of Excellence. Aside from the prestige of this award, Steve Armitage will get a free dinner for four at the Kelsey's in Sherwood Park, Alberta. (Order a day or two ahead of time if you're hungry.)
Later last night, the natives in Edmonton were not un-restless. One retard phoned 630CHED to complain that the CBC had broken away from the game, and not only that, they were showing soft core porn.
To the retard we award an important award we have not named yet, for not being able to distinguish between soft core porn and a British Indie film that won all kinds of super obscure awards.
I find it odd that someone would be upset about soft core porn after watching a bunch of grown men in tight polyester grabbing each other's packages and slapping one another on the butt. Each to his own.
Anyway, the winner of this award receives a two DVD package featuring Ingmar Bergman's Seventh Seal and a bootlegged copy of Hilda Does Bassano. Until you can offer a plausible explanation as to which one is art and which one is soft core porn you are not allowed to call any radio shows.
According to my sources the last time the Rough Riders were this successful this early in the season it was because Ron Lancaster was their QB. I have a dire warning: If the Rough Riders get anywhere near the Grey Cup a horrible rupture will occur in the Space/Time/Timbit continuum. And also the Leafs will win the Stanley Cup. Please recommend this post
The CBC broke off coverage of the game so they could stay on schedule and show their Saturday Night Late Movie. So, to the CBC we present our first annual Dave Hodge Pencil Tosser Award of Excellence. Aside from the prestige of this award, Steve Armitage will get a free dinner for four at the Kelsey's in Sherwood Park, Alberta. (Order a day or two ahead of time if you're hungry.)
Later last night, the natives in Edmonton were not un-restless. One retard phoned 630CHED to complain that the CBC had broken away from the game, and not only that, they were showing soft core porn.
To the retard we award an important award we have not named yet, for not being able to distinguish between soft core porn and a British Indie film that won all kinds of super obscure awards.
I find it odd that someone would be upset about soft core porn after watching a bunch of grown men in tight polyester grabbing each other's packages and slapping one another on the butt. Each to his own.
Anyway, the winner of this award receives a two DVD package featuring Ingmar Bergman's Seventh Seal and a bootlegged copy of Hilda Does Bassano. Until you can offer a plausible explanation as to which one is art and which one is soft core porn you are not allowed to call any radio shows.
According to my sources the last time the Rough Riders were this successful this early in the season it was because Ron Lancaster was their QB. I have a dire warning: If the Rough Riders get anywhere near the Grey Cup a horrible rupture will occur in the Space/Time/Timbit continuum. And also the Leafs will win the Stanley Cup. Please recommend this post
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