Listening to?

I'm listening to some classical guitar courtesy of Liona Boyd's The Spanish Album and Sharon Isbin Plays Baroque. The way she plays, she'll never be broke.

On the inside cover of Boyd's album is this picture of her with her cat Muffin. That Cat's eyes are creeping me out.




Hey, didn't she used to date Trudeau? There are any number of ways a paragraph can go sideways when you're talking about Liona Boyd, Muffin, and Pierre Trudeau. I'll leave the punch line up to you. I just like her playing a lot. I'm pretty sure Trudeau would not have liked that cat.

I know less about Sharon Isbin, although she has four or five CDs recorded. She may or may not own a cat, and has never denied not dating a Canadian Prime Minister.

The Vestibules CD Get Spiffy is also in the mix. They provide a welcome break from the byzantine guitarists. My favourite track is Jesus Goes to Hawaii. It is refreshingly irreverent. Or, irreverently refreshing.

The Vestibules is a comedy trio of Terence Bowman, Bernard Deniger and Paul Paré. None of them have dated a Canadian Prime Minister, although to be fair I have not read Mulroney's latest chest thump. Please recommend this post

Cat Food For The Brain

I went over to Sa?e?ay at Market Mall. It was really busy because in the new economy stores cannot find people to fill positions. Or, they screwed up on their scheduling. Take your pick.

They had two clerks on and about 20 people in each line up. I was in the under 15 items line. I've always wondered why they have that. Its not really that much faster when they're busy. Do the cashiers ever count people's items and what if anything do they do if you are over? Why don't they have a minimum item count in the other lines? How did they arrive at the number 15. Where there a bunch of MBA's in a boardroom all day debating this very important number and repeatedly texting Iris to get them more donuts. More Donuts!

If I buy a bunch of Bananas is that one item, or 5. If have a friend along to shop with me can we go up to 30 items? What if I order cigarettes and make the cashier walk all the way to the other end of the store. Why don't they have a line up for people who don't require high maintenance.

Is it less than 15 or less than or equal to 15. If the latter, the signage is incorrect, and in which case it is actually 14 items.

This lady was in the line up in front of me. She was way over 15 items, and had designer frames that you can only get in Mount Royal. She had 50 or more items I guessed. And I had plenty of time to think about it. She was flipping insouciantly through People magazine reading about Britney Spears' mothering skills, which is only available in the under 15 line. The joke here was that it was a short read. Oh, never mind.

She was somewhat pretty (sort of a cross between Amy Winehouse and Vanessa Redgrave) so the men in the line-up just made googly eyes at her. Except for me; I glared at her with the glare-over-15-items-glare-of-death. The cashier waited until she had unloaded all her crap then said condescendingly, do you think you have less than 15 items there deary. You could have heard a pin drop. Deary! Deary indeed. The lady made some upper caste type gesture that was sort of like, Well what are you going to do about it. Nothing thats what I thought. Then she cackled like the Witches in Roman Polanski's version of Macbeth. All right, I made that last part up about cackling. But it would have fit. I've been having a lot of problems lately with my imagination versus reality. I did not make the part up about Roman Polanski filming a version of Macbeth. 1969. Lookup it up. They showed it in high school, but then got in trouble because the Witches showed their boobies.

After she paid she turned to me and apologized and insisted she had no idea this was an express line-up. I would have given anything, even one of my inexplicably sore testicles for just that right come-back. But nothing. Screw this decaffeinated life. I'll wake up at 4am tonight with a total zinger. I'll thank my brain for working so hard on this problem. We'd like to take this opportunity to thank BRAIN for all its hard work. However we feel we need to move in a new direction at this time.

As a dramatic finale 100 item lady waves her finger in the air and demands a school boy to haul her stuff out to her car.

Then the cashier said to me, are these your banarners. That's exactly how she pronounced it. Banarners. Again, no come back. Yes, they're my bunyanyeers, and I'll be paying with my Innerflact card. How was that for a comeback. A little to obtuse? Agreed.

No one has any manners any more. Except me. I let people walk all over me while remaining polite, cheerful, and avoiding a fuss. For this reason I'll never be the mayor of Calgary. Please recommend this post

Statistics and Hysteria

I was just reading this analysis from Stats Canada which suggests our family demographics are changing.

Regarding gay couples:

Half of all same-sex couples in Canada lived in the three largest census metropolitan areas, Montréal, Toronto and Vancouver, in 2006. Toronto accounted for 21.2% of all same-sex couples, Montréal, 18.4% and Vancouver, 10.3%.

In 2006, same-sex couples represented 0.6% of all couples in Canada. This is comparable to data from New Zealand (0.7%) and Australia (0.6%).

Over half (53.7%) of same-sex married spouses were men in 2006, compared with 46.3% who were women.

Regarding one person households:

During this time, the number of one-person households increased 11.8%, more than twice as fast as the 5.3% increase for the total population in private households. At the same time, the number of households consisting of couples without children aged 24 years and under increased 11.2% since 2001.

On legally married versus single or common-law:

Unmarried people outnumber legally married people for the first time

For the first time, the census enumerated more unmarried people aged 15 and over than legally married people.

In 2006, more than one-half (51.5%) of the adult population were unmarried, that is, never married, divorced, separated or widowed, compared with 49.9% five years earlier. Conversely, only 48.5% of persons aged 15 and over were legally married in 2006, down from 50.1% in 2001.

These results are based on the 2006 census, which compiled the responses of almost 9 million Canadians. But not me, I was just cleaning house and found my completed but never submitted form. All the census people probably know me by now as that recalcitrant thwarter of statistics gathering. You could make a movie about it with Reese Witherspoon and that guy from Ferris Bueller's day off and it would be quite funny.

Anyway, I was about to head off to the club when Baldrick came in and breathlessly told me I must read the latest vomitous screed from the Calgary Sun.

Apparently the broader trends are not holding in Calgary, and as a result the Calgary Sun had to diatribe about how much better we are than other Canadians, to quote:

Calgary is holding the fort in a country where the notion of the traditional family is increasingly under siege, states a federal census.

Holding the fort? Against whom? The enemy? What is the traditional family and who is sieging it? These military metaphors are red flags for plain old fashioned bigotry.

States a federal census? Huh? That has to be the most poorly written most mendacious pukey line I think I have ever read in a newspaper. It is absolutely disgraceful to mingle your bigotry in with someone else's headline and make it seem like they're a bigot as well.

But that's our Calgary Sun, defending us tirelessly against statistics, trends, facts and ideas. Please recommend this post

Word of the Month

The word of the month is rodomontade.


Definition:

vainglorious boasting or bragging; pretentious, blustering talk.

Sample usage:

Mr. Harper rotomontaded endlessly about how smart and moral he was.

Mr. Black's rotomontading didn't go unnoticed by the sentencing Judge.

The Calgary Sun engaged in stupifying pro-war rotomontade.

My girlfriend whispered in my ear, a little less rotomontade and a little more action.

I suggest you use the word at the dinner table today. Surprise your loved ones with your buoyant literacy. Put your spouse in her/his place for once. No one would have comeback for a word like that. Please recommend this post

Is your face in order?

Canada's new government: Mouth open. Yelling. Finger pointing. Bad hair.

Canada is a difficult country to manage. Almost everything in Canada is based on some type of accommodation. That's why we have Catholic Schools, RCMP officers wearing Turbans, bilingual courts and Ben Mulroney on television.

One of the main differences between Canadian conservatives and Canadian liberals is that conservatives have no interest in accommodation. They want to throw everything into a blender and have it come out pure white. It's their way or no way.

Hence the current fake debate over women wearing religious facial covering while voting. Oh, the outrage. My preference would be to have Muslim women reveal their faces when voting but if they do not wish to then it is a relatively harmless compromise to show sufficient documentation. It is also, mostly, none of my business. In no way does this compromise take away my rights, any more than the happiness of a gay couple will ruin some straight couple's marriage.

I have voted in many elections in Alberta and I cannot remember ever having a returning office look at my face. It goes more like this: take driver's license, look up address on voter register, cross voter off list. With 10's of thousands of voters passing through a polling station and a horde of returning officers, it seems unlikely that seeing someone's face would have any particular deterrent effect.

Maybe the returning officers should be required to ask you if you are gay, collect stamps, or believe in evolution. Seems like common sense to me.

I pity the first returning officer who turns away a WHITE voter because their hair has been died blue and they've grown a large porn star mustache in the intervening years since they got their driver's license photo updated.

To say that something is required because it is common sense is not an argument and has no weight because common sense is just a euphemism for my opinion. We obviously know by now that Mr. Harper is a bully and not a consensus builder. Intimidating an independent body that is commissioned to oversee election fairness is very very scary scenario. It is no different than Harper's frequent intimidation of Judges. Harper's generalissimo personality will be his undoing.

Remember, it was Stephen Harper who forced the Canadian Taxpayer to spend millions of dollars defending electoral fairness laws when Harper was the head of the National Citizen's Coalition. Who was Harper representing? Sorry, Mr. Transparency would never say.

Where was the outrage when Alberta's Provincial Progressive Conservatives were found to be at the centre of the Ward 10 voting scandal in Calgary's last civic election. In this case, a large number of mail in ballots were forged. Although they got caught, the punishment was ridiculously light, and some of the players were never even brought to trial. And, of course, no finger wagging from Mr. Harper.

Our Constitution guarantees us certain rights, such as the freedom of religion, the freedom of conscience and the right to lawfully participate in elections. Mr. Harper's intimidation cannot change that. Please recommend this post

Vicki's Banjo Bowl Fantasy

Vicki Hall of the Edmonton Journal has a dream:

Can you imagine the spectacle of thousands of prairie folk invading downtown Toronto for Grey Cup? Could there be anything better than for the CFL? If the Labour Day series is any indication, we could see the Roughriders and Blue Bombers in Hogtown for the big game.

Yeah, that would be something. Saskatchewan and Winnipeg in the Grey Cup playing in Toronto. They've never played each other in the Grey Cup[1] and both teams go back to the 1930's.

It would create a huge political problem for the CFL, the CBC and the organizers in Toronto. Think of the panic when they realize that no one east of Kenora will tune in or care. Cue the Nick Nolte film.

It is unusual to read this kind of prediction in the Edmonton Journal of all places, but Most Esk fans have known for some time that they won't be seeing their team in Canada's number one sporting event, or even in the playoffs.

Politics and ratings issues aside, I agree with Ms. Hall that this could be one of the best Grey Cup match games ever. Who would you rather watch? Calgary and Toronto? BC and Montreal? Pffft I say.

Bring on the Banjo Bowl non-pareil! And that's exactly what we're going to call it. BBNP for short.

Notes:
[1] The Grey Cup was named after Lord Grey, an Edwardian aristocrat whose wife couldn't get the hang of washing her delicate lingerie in the hard mineral laden waters of Upper Canada. Its a fact.
[2]In 1951,1966,1969 and 1976 the Ottawa Rough Riders played the Saskatchewan Roughriders in the Grey Cup. That would have been a hoot to watch the foreign visitors scratching their heads. Please recommend this post

Alnoor Kassam: Stop Talking!

I was wandering down a back alley across from SAIT when I saw this billboard:

This is a campaign ad for Calgary mayoralty candidate Alnoor Kassam.

Alnoor Kassam is running against 3 term Mayor Dave Bronconnier. I can't help but be a bit puzzled by the slogan A Little Less Conversation, A little More Action! I really am not sure what he means by this. The political culture in Calgary and Alberta is such that politicians do whatever they want with complete impunity behind a veil of secrecy.

I think that a Mayoralty candidate who campaigned on more transparency in civic government could hit a raw nerve and possibly score some points. Is Alnoor that candidate? Less Conversation is like telling people to shut up and doesn't lead me to believe the candidate thinks transparency is important.

Alnoor's logo creates cognitive dissonance. A green hexagon with the enlarged word GO inside it. Hexagon means stop. Green means go. Less conversation, but I have a lot of ideas.

Alnoor's campaign also may have received the kiss of death already, by way of a semi-lucid endorsement from Paul Jackson, who is probably just manipulating Alnoor to campaign against liberalism, progressive thinking, and literacy.

Bronconnier's message does not seem to be that much better. Even though he is the most well funded of all the candidates he will probably run a low key, issueless campaign. Everything is fine. Like David Emerson, he'll just tell the voters that he has to carry on with his important work. He is already using passive meaningless language like, leading with passion and purpose.

Please recommend this post

Kent Austin: Bigger than Jesus

So RidersFan is sitting out on the pool deck enjoying the last few days of summer, when Rider's Coach Kent Austin comes along. Being a nice guy Austin takes some time to chat with RidersFan about football and whatever. RidersFan and Coach notice a cooler of cold beer on the other side of the pool. Coach says, hey, you want me to grab you a beer? RidersFan says sure. Coach Austin then walks on the water across the pool, grabs two beers, walks back across the water, pops open both beers and hands one to RidersFan.[1]

RidersFan's jaw drops. Finally when he can talk again, he says, hey how did you do that. Easy, says Coach, the bottles have twist tops, very easy to open.

Sunday, September 9: Roughriders at Winnipeg

Prediction: Winnipeg by a few points.

You have to pick the underdog once in a while even though my prediction seems unlikely. All winning streaks must come to an end. Somebody somewhere needs to put a stop to the green surge.

Friday, September 7: Calgary at Edmonton

Ick. Don't make me watch this game. Don't make me call it. The odds are in favour of Calgary. Historically, they have a slight edge in the Labor day re-match. Also, Edmonton is demoralized and the towns folks have started calling for the head of the coach. How this helps is anyone's guess.

Bus loads of drunk Calgarians[2], who started drinking at about 2pm today, should be arriving in Edmonton right about...now.

Maciocia isn't helping either. He was muttering about making some visits to Santa Maria Goretti Church, which is near Commonwealth Stadium. No word on how long it will take to get that message through. Maybe watch a few game tapes just in case.

Update: Calgary 20 Edmonton NOT 20


Notes:
[1] Punch line ripped off from old beer commercial. Otherwise, events as described actually occurred.
[2] Rhymes with Vulgarians. Ha.
Please recommend this post

My Mulroney Rant

Our former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney stopped taking his medication and is now talking to the media. Like Richard Nixon, he looks back and feels he got a bad deal from history and wants to do a makeover on his image. Although Mulroney is quite wealthy, the National Post has offered their image making services for free. I feel embarrassed for Mulroney, it is not often that someone is so dumb they lose an argument with a dead guy. There are some serious head issues going on here.

Mulroney has held a long and persistent delusion that Pierre Trudeau ruined Canada and that God himself appointed him to fix it. These delusions of grandeur are not uncommon in politics, but seldom do they run so deep. The main outcomes of Mulroney-to-the-rescue were the Reform Party, the Parti Québécois, the disintegration of the Federal Progressive Conservative Party and the subsequent disenfranchisement of millions of moderate Red Tories. Moderate and tolerant people in the Western Provinces would like to thank Mr. Mulroney very much for turning us over to a bunch of head in ass crazy lunatics. Not to mention ruining TV for ever through the untalented fruit of his loins.

We have more important issues in 2007 than what Trudeau did or didn't do when he was teething. This latest attack is not about Canada or history, it is about Mulroney's easily bruised ego, and his lifelong hobby of seeking revenge on the vast multitudes of those who apparently betrayed him. Lucien Bouchard was a duplicitous separatist? Oh dear, lets write an Opera. Who the hell cares whether Lucien Bouchard is invited to your funeral? I wish Mr. Mulroney a long and healthy life, but when he does die, I hope this guy gives him equal time.

If I wanted to get dragged back into the absolute moral black hole of the 1980's I would grow my big hair back, re-cultivate the magnum PI porn star mustache, and go looking for those 4 inch wide ties I used to wear. But no, I have no interest in going back to the 80's.

Canada is largely a country that cannot be governed to the satisfaction of any particular group or region. Our history proves this. The fact that we did not get our own constitution until 1982 is retarded and backwards. The fact that Freedom of Conscience and Freedom of Religion was not legally enshrined until Trudeau's Charter[1] in 1982 is retarded. The American people got a Bill of Rights in 1789, the British in 1689, the French in 1789, the Finns in 1919 and so on. Clearly, Canada was behind the human rights curve by a long shot. The fact that we have no elected senate is shameful. Liberals should have been at the forefront of the debate from decades ago, yet it was left up to political extremists who view an elected senate as a back door to assert their ridiculous views over Parliament and the rest of us.

No one politician or party is to blame for Canada's long term issues, but at the same time Mulroney did absolutely nothing to fix anything.

Mulroney has no business criticizing Trudeau for opposing conscription. In both world wars it was a debate that very nearly broke up the country. Mulroney is not dumb, he knows that by playing verbal games with the conscription issue he can further divide a country that is conflicted over our involvement in Afghanistan. And he thinks this makes him look good?

Mulroney was much younger than Trudeau, born in 1939. At that time the Mackenzie King Government (Liberal) and the American government (FDR - Democrat) were turning away Jewish refugees from Europe. It is likely that many of those Jewish people died as a result of being forced back to Europe. To me this is a far more serious historical issue than whether Trudeau opposed conscription, but you are unlikely to hear Mulroney talk about it because it doesn't serve as a suitable platform for his vanity. It is debatable whether people in Canada knew about the holocaust at this point, or what our Governments knew about it in the 1930's. To say that Trudeau opposed conscription because he was anti-semitic or didn't care about the death of European Jews seems like a fairly ignorant thing to say.

As a person who as never known war or conscription in my life time, I consider it highly inappropriate for me to pass judgment on those of a previous generation who either went to war voluntarily, or refused to go. If you are not faced with that choice yourself, you are hardly qualified to talk about someone else's character. Mulroney was a baby when WWII broke out, and apparently has not moved forward that much.

If Trudeau said or did things that were anti-semitic, he deserves to have a light shone on it. Antisemitism is a much larger problem in our society than most people will admit. I'm not really sure what Mulroney can claim as his contribution to stopping antisemitism in Canada. Probably just some self-serving rhetoric here and there.

Final word: Mr Mulroney, if you chop the head off a dead man it does not make you taller.

Notes:
[1] The Diefenbaker Bill of Rights in 1960 was a noble document and forward thinking but it was an Act of Parliament and not part of a constitution.
[2] My spell checker does not recognize Mulroney as a word and suggests Moneybag and Melloney as alternatives.)
Please recommend this post

Friday Night Music

Friday nights 12 music tracks as selected by a soulless cold piece of silicon. And I'm not referring to my ex. I'm referring to my CPU, which throws out pseudo-random numbers to Windows Media Player, which in turn examines the number and translates it into a track in its library, being careful never ever to play anything by Jimi Hendrix. Why? I must know why.

12. Don't Stop Swaying - Sophie B. Hawkins
11. River - Madeleine Peyroux and Kathryn Dawn Lang. Composed by Joni Mitchel
10. The Yellow Furze - Karan Casey
9. The Old Ways - Jenny Allen
8. Walkin After Midnight - Patsy Cline
7. Afternoons and Coffeespoons - Crash Test Dummies
6. Raglan Road - Loreena McKennitt
5. Pacing the Cage - Bruce Cockburn
4. Softly She Goes - Gordon Lightfoot
3. Where Is My Love - Lucinda Williams
2. Sweetsexywoman - Sophie B. Hawkins
1. For You Blue - Beatles,George Harrison

Bonus YouTube video:

Kiran Ahluwalia - Koka



Unbelievable! Please recommend this post

Edmonton Eskimos on bye Week

It is a bye week for all the western CFL teams.

Hey, esks fan, its a bye week, take a deep breath and
chill out.




No wait, don't take a deep breath.

Well at least you have something to look forward to:



Get to the buffet early.


Disclaimer: don't put a plastic bag over your head its dangerous and you could suffer serious consequences up to and including death its a fact. Please recommend this post

Summer Reading - Part 1

Alternate Title 1: Government By Outrage



I just finished reading Dr. Kevin Taft's latest book Democracy Derailed. Derailed is probably a generous word. The book is basically about government scandal in Alberta and the undermining of basic democracy. I think it is fair to say Alberta is at an all time low point in terms of its democratic traditions.

Almost all of the issues Dr. Taft discusses are not new to me. From the Asbestos removal at the Holy Cross Hospital, to Multi-Corp, to cabinet Ministers owning Oil companies - it has all been out there. However when you put it all together in one book it leaves you with a rather foul taste.

This is a book all Albertans should read. Dr. Taft has a very good writing style. He explains the issues clearly, providing a lot of detail and back-up, while not talking down to the reader.

The book's website has a very good quiz on some Alberta history and issues. Regrettably, I scored very low on the quiz and I was quite embarrassed. It is an indication that there is always surprises and false assumptions if you don't educate yourself.

Take the quiz. Let me know how you did.


Disclosure: I have no relationship with the Alberta Liberal Party. Please recommend this post

We Support LibelChill.ca

Bad title. Sounds like we support libel chill when in fact we support libelchill.ca which is against libel chill.




This is an important issue. Under current Canadian law someone can be sued for libel for almost anything. Our laws have not kept up to our technological advancement. As a member of several different blogging communities I link to hundreds of blogs each of whom link to hundreds of other blogs and resources which continues ad infinitum.

There are currently lawsuits underway that argue that web site owners should be liable for the content they link to whether directly or indirectly. This has massive implications for standard online technologies such as blogs, aggregators, search engines and Wikis.

The end result is that authors will not exercise their right to free speech or join online communities simply out of fear. The high cost of legal defense will cause many to cave in even though there is no case.

Anyway, please visit libelchill.ca and educate yourself on the current lawsuit and the defendants need for your support. I would also recommend visiting section15 for more background information. Please recommend this post

CBC Irritates Retard

Tonight at 12:30 am the CBC will be re-broadcasting the last 13 minutes of last nights thrilling football game between the Edmonton Eskimos and the Regina Rough Riders. There was a huge thunderstorm around the third quarter and the game was suspended for about an hour.

The CBC broke off coverage of the game so they could stay on schedule and show their Saturday Night Late Movie. So, to the CBC we present our first annual Dave Hodge Pencil Tosser Award of Excellence. Aside from the prestige of this award, Steve Armitage will get a free dinner for four at the Kelsey's in Sherwood Park, Alberta. (Order a day or two ahead of time if you're hungry.)

Later last night, the natives in Edmonton were not un-restless. One retard phoned 630CHED to complain that the CBC had broken away from the game, and not only that, they were showing soft core porn.

To the retard we award an important award we have not named yet, for not being able to distinguish between soft core porn and a British Indie film that won all kinds of super obscure awards.

I find it odd that someone would be upset about soft core porn after watching a bunch of grown men in tight polyester grabbing each other's packages and slapping one another on the butt. Each to his own.

Anyway, the winner of this award receives a two DVD package featuring Ingmar Bergman's Seventh Seal and a bootlegged copy of Hilda Does Bassano. Until you can offer a plausible explanation as to which one is art and which one is soft core porn you are not allowed to call any radio shows.

According to my sources the last time the Rough Riders were this successful this early in the season it was because Ron Lancaster was their QB. I have a dire warning: If the Rough Riders get anywhere near the Grey Cup a horrible rupture will occur in the Space/Time/Timbit continuum. And also the Leafs will win the Stanley Cup. Please recommend this post

Saturday's Nonsense Garden

The media in Edmonton is divided into three groups.

The first group is following the LPGA golfers around the Mayfair Golf & Country club desperately trying to get one of the golfers to say something nice about Edmonton. Beware of roving packs of people with microphones and a huge Chris Pronger shaped chip on their shoulders.

The second group is trying to figure out how to pronounce golfer Mhairi McKay's first name. The Scots Gaelic consonant Mh is pronounced like a V. airi is pronounced to rhyme with Starry not Mary. Farry, not Larry. How far is it? Its farry. Sometimes Scots names have pronunciation that seems weird to us. For example Menzies can be pronounced Mingus. Rhymes with Dingus. Maybe the Dingus ate your baby? The Scots were never happy about being colonized (rhymes with fallinized not rollinized) so they subverted the consonant system of the Empire. The British referred to this as anticonsonantationalism, which Scots consider derogatory, and mostly unpronounceable.

Or it could just be they had their own language before the English came along. How would I know? I'm not a trained lingust.

The third group is busy calling WTA #1 ranked Justine Henin Justine Henna. Henna?

The remainder of the Edmonton sports media is in Regina (rhymes with) covering the game between the Rough Riders and the Eskimos. Late in the second quarter the Eskimos are leading 21 to 10. The Eskimos are playing bizarrely and unexpectedly well. Bryan Hall sounds like a kid with ADHD. Yes, all looks well for the Titanic as it sails along majestically.

One hopes that Vicki Hall of the Edmonton Journal will not have to discuss package grabbing with A.J. Gass in the post game interviews. Please recommend this post

Donelons: Update

Some further info:

The Edmonton Journal's Obituary is here.

There is a guest book here.

The TD Canada Trust Bank is accepting donations for a trust account for Chelsea Donelon.

Please feel free to leave your comments by clicking on the link at the end of this item. Please recommend this post

Friday's 12 Random Songs

I loaded a whole bunch of new music on my player then put it on shuffle to get 12 random songs. The ghost in the machine blew smoke in my face and refused to randomly play any of the new tracks randomly. Once again I'm forced to use the word insouciant. It seems a bit insulting when a million electronic pulses can put their tiny little heads together and completely ignore your new stuff.

Friday night's 12 random songs:

1. Beatles - I Will

From the White Album. I had a girlfriend who insisted the White Album was made by Lynyrd Skynyrd. I'd say I know how you feel but its just not true.

Who knows how long you've hated me
I know you hate me still
Will you wait a angry lifetime
If you want me to shut up I will

2. Cowboy Junkies - I Saw Your Shoes

Margo sees her guy's shoes by the couch and it makes her romantic and a song ensues. Whenever I leave my shoes anywhere people glare at me.

3. Sophie B. Hawkins - The Night they Drove Old Dixie Down.

Cover of Robbie Robertson's classic.

4. Christopher Parkening - Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring.

Is it man's desire or man's desiring. I never argue with liner notes unless they've been translated through 9 languages. I've always liked this song more on guitar than on piano or organ. Parkening is a phenomenal guitar player.

5. Jenny Allen - Craven

One of my favourite local singer songwriters.

6. Monty Python - Finland

If you haven't heard it, the important lyrics are worth reflecting on:

Finland, Finland, Finland
The country where I want to be
Pony trekking or camping
Or just watching TV
Finland, Finland, Finland
It's the country for me

You're so near to Russia
So far from Japan
Quite a long way from Cairo
Lots of miles from Vietnam

Finland, Finland, Finland
The country where I want to be
Eating breakfast or dinner
Or snack lunch in the hall
Finland, Finland, Finland
Finland has it all

7. Blondie - Will Anything Happen

Yes Deborah, something will happen. The 80's will end. Disco will die. You'll spend years in court fighting your backup singers over royalties. Then people like me will re-discover you because we're too cheap to buy new music.

8. Angelo Romero - Andante from Piano Concerto No 21.

Another great classical guitarist. This would be a great song to play at a wedding while everyone is sitting there waiting for the Bride to show up. It has a great sense of uncertainty and tension.

9. Los Lobos - That Train Don't Stop Here.

A break up song that rocks like crazy.

10. The Byrds - Paths of Victory

A cover of a Dylan song. Sort of in the tradition of an old southern spiritual or a union song.

11. Crash Test Dummies - I think I'll Disappear Now

Their songs are too deep for this time of night.

12. Bruce Cockburn - This is Baghdad

A sad lament about the current state of Iraq.



Your bonus track is this video about the Fates found on Youtube.





Unfortunately I have to sign off for now and go look for my pants. Please recommend this post

Tom and Gladys Donelon

Sad news from the Baptist Union of Western Canada website:

It is with great sadness that we share the tragic loss of Tom and Gladys Donelon to the Canadian Baptist family. Tom and Gladys, along with their daughter-in-law Wanda and their granddaughter Chelsea, were involved in a car accident in Alberta on Monday afternoon August 6th. Wanda was also killed and Chelsea is in a hospital in Edmonton with critical injuries.

Tom and Gladys served in Turkey with Canadian Baptist Ministries from 1982 until their retirement in November, 1992. They were faithful to their Lord and to their church, Braemar Baptist in Edmonton. They will be deeply missed.

Absolutely heartbreaking. I had the privilege of knowing Tom & Gladys when I lived in Edmonton and attended Braemar Baptist Church. They were the most selfless and dedicated people I have ever met.

I was always grateful for the kindness they always showed towards me even though I was probably the worst Christian ever. I am only one small voice among a large number of people who loved and respected them. Please recommend this post

Blogger Names Beaver Worst Magazine Ever

After conducting a thoroughly scientific poll this blogger has determined that the Beaver is Canada's worst history magazine. We confined our poll to history magazines because, a) Canada doesn't have a lot of them, allowing for easier data manipulation, and b) because MacLeans would have blown all the competition away.

There have been some rumors that a small group of zealots used technical legerdemain to manipulate the results. Regardless of how the totals came about it is a clear reflection of public opinion and thats all there is to it.

That was a pretty lame satire.

I was wondering if the Beaver allowed this survey to be hacked deliberately to create a controversy. It was predictable that flying monkeys would push Trudeau to the top of the list and that the Conservative leaning media (almost all of them) would parrot it out as the gospel truth. When seen as a publicity stunt it makes more sense because they published a more broader survey about worst Canadians that had a slightly better methodology.

Hat tip to CTV.ca for being the first to make a skeezy semantic connection between Trudeau and Clifford Olsen. Good job!

In the real study Trudeau does not make the list and Ralph Klein is listed as the worst Premier. I'll bet you don't read that story line anywhere, at least not in Albera.

These polls have a limited value and usually do not interest me that much. They are often heavily influenced by region and ideology. There are very few internet polls that cannot be manipulated.

I find myself asking why a political group would find the need to manipulate a poll. The childish desire to embarrass people you hate comes to mind. Or, perhaps people honestly believe that manipulated opinion is real opinion. Maybe they believe in the big lie theory, that if you repeat something loudly it becomes true.

Like the Beaver poll anything you read about Trudeau in the media, especially the Alberta media, is likely to heavily exaggerated and distorted. As a history magazine, the Beaver probably knows this.

I have a dirty little secret: I generally liked Trudeau. I liked a lot of things he did. Not all of it, but I don't hate Trudeau. I find Trudeau hatred irrational and childish. As a life long Albertan I've always had a hard time understanding the raw emotions that Trudeau evokes. There is something wrong here. It is disproportionate. It is impossible to have a rational conversation about the Trudeau era.

Incidentally, finishing second to Trudeau in the hacked survey was Chris Hannah, a punk rocker that I've never heard of until now. I thought I knew all the punk rockers in Canada. Punk rockers are not exactly known for their conformist conservative point of view.

How did a punk rocker end up finishing second to Trudeau. His Wikipedia bio explains it best:

They have taken an active stance against human rights violations, racism, homophobia, imperialism, fascism, and capitalism. The band supports the vegan lifestyle and animals rights campaigns.

I think I know who voted Hannah up the list. Please recommend this post

Edmonton Eskimos: Pfffft

July 27, 2007
Saskatchewan Rough Riders 54
Edmonton Eskimos 14

That is a difference of approximately 40 points.

7th most widely gaping loss ever. But not the most embarrassing road trip. That occurred when they pulled the team bus over, fired the Coach and kicked him off the bus.

I called the game correctly, although i feel awestruck by the sheer voluptuousness of that score. I know how that guy felt standing on the pier in Liverpool watching the Titanic pull out and saying to his friend, you know I think there's a bit of a design flaw there....

In Calgary the Schadenfreude was flowing like beer at Oktoberfest. In Edmonton it seemed like the message coming from the Sports columnists was look a monkey smoking a cigar!

Hey, here comes the coach, lets ask him a question.

Coach Maciocia, over here in the blog, quick question sir. How many turnovers did your team make in that horrible horrible loss?



Five! Holy Mother of God in a small dark Grotto! That's a whole lot of biscuit dropping. Thankfully we're covering the CFL and not organ transplanting.

Thanks sir, and I for one would be very disappointed if they fired you this week.


And, oh yeah, Calgary lost whereas I predicted they would win. The media in Calgary is trying to push the Stampeders to trade Henry Burris for Jason Maas. Good luck with that. The media is piling on Henry Burris the same way they've piled on every single talented player the Stampeders have ever had. It will end in the predicable manner.

So far this year my predictions are 2/4. Statistically, this is exactly the same as 4 monkeys pushing one of two buttons upon being electrocuted. Please recommend this post