Thursday, July 29, 2004

Corporate Shame

Molson and Coors have agreed to merge, finally consumating a year or two of longing glances. After a frenzied and writhing implementation of the merger, they will both now just sort of roll over and go to sleep for awhile. It was probably not nearly as good as they thought it would be.

The name of the new corporation will be baaaaraaaapppp. Previously, merger talks between Molson and Mattell broke down for undisclosed reasons. The two companies were working on cross-marketing ideas but could not come to an agreement. One idea was a deluxe version of the Easy Bake Oven which would include a Pizza Oven and a Micro-Brewery. Another idea was a new line of Barbies called Cougar Barbie Lounge Lizard. It could not have turned out well.

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