Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Shiny Things in the Mail

The Monastery of St. Carmel sent me a Rosary in the mail today. I'm not Catholic and have no connection with any Catholic groups so I'm not quite sure how they know me or why they think I would want a Rosary. Nonetheless, its quite attractive no? In a case of cruel symbolism I received the Rosary along with my year end mutual fund statements. Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be.

Lets take the Rosary for a test drive. Pray with me.

Bead 1: Lord, help certain people to stop being an overbearing pigs. You know who I mean. We've discussed this before.

Bead 2: Lord, help the women of the world get the birth control they need, when they need it. Help your church to change its obstructionist ways.

Bead 3: What about McVety? Lord that man ain't right.

(I think this is working)

Bead 4: (Some private thoughts about lust)

Bead 5: Not to belabor the point Lord, but I really think we need to get birth control out to the third world.

Bead 6: So why can't women be Priests? Lord?

Bead 7: Can I have a new Mustang.

Bead 8: Lord, help your Church to end their gay bigotry. Its so not you.

This goes on for some time. Probably far longer than necessary. Please feel free to add your own prayers. Please recommend this post

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