Thursday, May 26, 2005

We Got Noticed

A disorganized and sometimes odd Royal Visit to Edmonton Alberta got noticed by the Daily Mail in the UK:

But the royal sparkle was not enough for Canada's award-winning photographer Robert Bray when he took the Queen's portrait. Behind the lens, the VIP snapper shouted to Her Majesty: "Big smile - show some teeth." And then: "Over here - into the camera."
For his unconventional efforts, he was rewarded with a slight glimpse of pearly white. Next up, the Duke of Edinburgh was less co-operative and seemed perplexed by the photographer's manner. The Duke stared straight down the lens, seemingly not amused.

Oh the Duke has pretty teeth dear
And he shows them pearly white...

Then the Duke dived across a table and bit off the photographers ear, screaming is that show some teeth enough for you? Nothing like spectacle with Kurt Weill as the soundtrack.

And the Queen even appeared not to notice Alberta's Premier Ralph Klein with his hands in his pockets while showing her around an Edmonton museum, earlier in the day.

No, Ralph was not showing her around the Museum. Other people were. I doubt Ralph has ever been to a museum. What Ralph was doing was walking in front of the Queen and having his wife yank the back of his suit jacket. Yes he did have his hands in his pockets most of the time. No doubt playing with his balls. And no matter which way he tries to grab his balls they always squish off to the right. Jackass. I digress.

During a walkabout in Edmonton city centre, she encountered a corgi club and a cow.

Journalistic sarcasm at its finest. No one could write a line like that without rolling their eyes and going Holy Christ! A cow. I saw the video. Queen pretended not to notice the cow and walked by to the Corgis. Its really a brief moment in Monarchial history. Kings and Queens have been ignoring the town's prize cow for thousands of years. Its a perogative.

Concluding on this bit of too much information:

She chatted to the dog owners, members of the Pembroke Welsh Corgi Association of Canada, but seemed to avoid the cow in the crowd.

The cow's owners, Tracey and David Morey, from Rochester, north of Edmonton, also brought along a large roll of kitchen towel.

"It's to wipe her (the cow's) butt in case she poops," said Tracey.

Thanks Tracey. Nice they added "the cow's" to clarify the possessive connection to the butt. I wonder how many people really needed that, or more importantly why. The brackets are a nice touch as a visual giggle along the lines of what? did you think we meant the Queen's butt. The palace media courtesans will be in touch with you cheeky monkey. But not before Lord Whatshisface the publisher decides you would make a good correspondent in the Gaza Strip.

Here's the deal Your Majesty: Hopefully you will plan on coming for another visit. We promise by then to have an acceptable leader who does'nt grab his balls and walk in front of you. If we can't live up to that then feel free to send Dame Edna in your place. Please recommend this post

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