Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Daily Update

I say, the news is rather odd today, to wit:

(CBC)FRANKFURT - Doctors believe three German patients contracted rabies after receiving organ transplants from the same woman. The three people are in critical condition, the German Foundation for Organ Transplants said Wednesday. The organ donor had shown no signs of rabies before she died of a heart attack in late 2004, but tests have now proved that she had the viral disease, the foundation said.

Well, now that you mention it she was foaming at the mouth and barking. We thought she was just crazy, and when we see a crazy person its policy to take their organs. We are determined to get to the bottom of this. My associate Dr. Nick Riviera will be heading up the investigation. But you have to admit, Rabies, come on who would have thought of that. Frankly we think the media, specifically the CBC, is just trying to stir of trouble here.


(BBC)Nigeria transvestite handed fine...The judge told 19-year-old Abubakar Hamza, who used his female identity to sell aphrodisiacs, to desist from "immoral behaviour". Mr Hamza, who appeared in court dressed in a pink kaftan and matching cap, said he was now "a reformed man". Since his arrest, he has become a celebrity in the strict Muslim city.
Posters of him dressed in women's clothing have been selling well.

After some discussion, we determined that transvestite is the correct term here. It simply means someone who wears opposite sex clothes. However there is still a raging debate over transvestism vs. transvestitism. The latter sounds too much like hypnotism, but don't send me any poetry. And if you wake up one day wearing some chick's clothes, I suppose you could say Hey man, I've been tranvestitised.

I think the guy is courageous to try this in a Muslim country. Obviously the courts did'nt find it amusing even though he has quite a pretty face when he's done up. Sometimes a guy can see another guy as being pretty and it does'nt mean anything except he's pretty. Just sayin...


Giants to tackle Viagra spam ring

(CNN)The two [Microsoft and Pfizer] are filing 17 parallel lawsuits against two "international pharmacy spam rings" selling what they claim are generic versions of Viagra online. Pfizer said two websites named in the suit sold "potentially dangerous medications" unapproved by regulators.

Glad to know these two fine corporations are on it. I always look to Pfizer to tell me what drugs are not safe, and to Microsoft for secure computing. I'm sure they'll continue to work hard with a sustained vigor. What are parallel law suits? If you have 4 lawsuites and 2 of them go off at 90 degrees and sort of fall over do they become parallelogrammatic law suits? Anyone? Okay, you're a lawyer and a senior partner walks in and says, Bobby, those three parallel law suits you got going, the partners feel the clients would be better served by a right angle triangle law suit. Eventually, the lawyers are walking around with thick books on Pythagorus. (Oh, must I explain who Pythagorus is all over again.)


(CBC) EDMONTON - A former Alberta cabinet minister [Steve West] known for slashing government payrolls received a severance package of $180,000 after a few months on the job as Ralph Klein's chief of staff.

Not bad for a years worth of work that produced nothing of value except getting fired. But he did not do as well as Murray Smith who got a 1/2 million dollar severance along with a patronage appointment to be Alberta's Chief Bootlicker in Washington D.C. How do you get a severance and continue to be an employee?

The part that bugs me is that for 8 years West insulted every government employee and department he could find claiming they were lazy, corrupt, and overpaid. I guess he was partly right.


(CNN) Michael Jackson was on his way to court when he was taken ill. Mr Jackson, 46, fell ill on the way to court in Santa Maria on Tuesday where he was due to attend the jury selection process in his child abuse trial. Judge Rodney Melville, who is in charge of the trial, has postponed jury selection until next Tuesday morning. Mr Jackson has denied 10 counts of child molestation. Late on Tuesday, Chuck Merrill, a physician at the Marian Medical Center, said Mr Jackson was suffering from "a flu-like illness with some vomiting."

One of these days he will vomit and his nose and chin will just go flying off. I know for me when I vomit from the flu I immediately rush over to the emergency ward. The hospital I go to is really good. They have nice amenities like the red wine and the tuck in. I'd be vomiting too if Kobe Bryant was the best character witness I could come up with in a rape trial.


(CNN) Two "Dogs Playing Poker" paintings cleaned house at Doyle New York's annual Dogs in Art Auction, fetching a staggering $590,400, the auction house said.

Before the sale it was estimated that the two rare paintings from Cassius Marcellus Coolidge's 1903 series of dogs playing poker would fetch $30,000 to $50,000, Doyle said in a statement after Tuesday's auction.
The auction house said that, after intense bidding, "A Bold Bluff" and "Waterloo: Two" sold to a private collector from New York City. The buyer was not identified.

Of course Coolidge did have a few failures in his early career. Nine gerbils playing Dominos was widely hated by the critics.

The buyer was not identified? No shit. Sold to the batty dude with too much money and the sack over his head.

So...just after they sold the Monet and the 300 year old Wine, the auctioneer with a snooty tone says...The sequential narrative follows the same players in the course of a hand of poker...In the first painting, the St. Bernard holds a weak hand as the rest of the dogs maintain their best poker faces. In the next scene we see the St.Bernard raking in the large pot, much to the very obvious chagrin of the other I hear half a million pounds...ah is that Lord Black...

That St. Bernard really pisses me off. So smug.


(CBC) A new reality show will aim to find the next Janis Joplin. Called Search for the Pearl, the series will feature auditions by vocalists trying to mimic Joplin's rough-voiced style. Perhaps best known for her cover of Kris
Kristofferson's Me and Bobby McGee, Joplin had a brief career before dying from a heroin overdose in 1970 at the age of 27.

O God no please stop. There was only one Joplin. Go imitate Amy Grant or something. Or here's an idea, stick all the contestants on an Island and give them an unlimited supply of Heroin. In related news...Renee Zelwegger will play Joplin in an upcoming bio movie, but fortunately they could not get rights to use any of the music.

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